Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
