After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
