whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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