There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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