No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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