I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
How external is "for external use only"?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize