And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
