Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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