I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
no, he came in my armpit
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
