Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
