wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
