you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
