You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
