you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize