Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
