Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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