One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
