The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize