My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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