I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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