cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I've blown a few things in my day
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
