i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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