so explain again why im purple
no
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
