i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
