before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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