I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
