DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
