Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
