i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
