First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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