i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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