So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The air taste purple.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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