There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
