It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
