I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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