I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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