I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
