I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It's just like the Real World with babies
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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