I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
