the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
