I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
