you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
