Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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