We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Im part way to drunk.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
