we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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