I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
