that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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