I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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