I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
