careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
