Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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