I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
