just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
