Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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