I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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