but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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