i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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