FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Girls should come with a carfax report
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
