I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize