This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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